What is..

   What is your dream? What is it that you want to do? What is your plan? What does your future look like in your eyes? What is your passion? Now, think about it for 5 seconds before answering then start with the first question. Mine will be listed below and more.

   I know these questions repeat the same thing but it's only to make sure what you want to do is not going to change and that you are sure about your future. Btw Thank You for all the views!!! We have reached 2,015!! I appreciate loves! 

1. What is your dream?  -My dream is to have a company that helps people in different countries,cities,towns,etc. Help them how? I want to help people to get their full education that they haven't got the chance to do it. I want to help those who are homeless and those who ran away from home. Once again how? Well, I want to buy a big house with enough rooms so if you need a place to stay you have one while you're continuing your education or finding a career/job so you can provide for yourself with no charge but to at least help around the house when needed. Now, the company doesn't have a name yet but not only will it have this house it will be a company that will help other companies and it will be finding ways to give other countries what we have and they don't like technology, schools, books, light, running water, food, healthcare, etc. 
2. What is it you want to do? -I want to change the world. I want to help people the best I can. I want to be able to look at what I have done and be proud and happy that I've made an impact in the world and change people's lives for the better and not the worst. I want to be able to not worry about how much money I have to pay bills or how much I need to have food for a whole month or worry if it is okay to use some money to buy new clothes or shoes without losing the roof over my head. I want to worry and stress-free of that and to be able to take care of my mom the way she has for me since I was born. That's what I want. To worry free.
3. What is your plan? -My plan is to graduate high school this year! Then, go to college with a scholarship if I'm able to and graduate from there. Next, my plan is to get my company on the road after working for awhile to build it and start getting people who are willing to take a part in my dream with me. Also to get grants so the people who are going to stay at the house will be taken care of and can get their education right there and find a job. 
4. What does your future look like in your eyes? -In my eyes, my future looks bright but also bumpy because there will be bad times but I will make my dream happen. I am determined to make it happen if I don't get it to happen I will consider myself a failure and that I gave up. I won't give up ever! This is my life! 
5. What is your passion? -My passion is to help people and to change the world in my own way. One day I will make it happen, One day it will be great. One day I'll be worry free. Just one day.

Whatever it is you want in life or whatever your passion is, go after it. Don't pass it up and don't give up. There will always be a chance to go after your passion. 

#BeStrong

Reasons why it's Important to have a Father

   Most of you know that I've lost my father at a young age if you read my past blogs, but if you didn't now you know. I'm writing this blog because I know there are others out there who have lost a father too, no matter if you are a female or male it could go in both ways. Therefore, I'm going to try my best to write in male and female versions of certain things that we might think about when it comes to certain things in life or on a daily basis.
 But first off for those who don't know I lost my father at the age of 10, and so far its only been 5 years without him and there's not a day that I don't think or want him here with me.

#1 The struggles of being a young lady or man. Everyone needs a father, right? Would some or most agree? Having a father in your life can show you a lot of different things like love,discipline,how to have self-respect,how to fix things, wisdom,and most of all how to be brave. Let's start with love, a father should love his child more than anything in the world (not including beliefs) and they should show it instead of hiding it because it helps the child know but can also give them the hope or confidence they need. When my father showed me that he loved me with all his heart I knew that I had hope for anything and everything in this world or even in people. Next is discipline, a father can show a child that having discipline for themselves or him giving discipline comes with the self-respect and in general just having respect. For example, my father told my sister and I that we couldn't leave the house in short shorts because that's having no respect for yourself or when we would talk back to our mother my father would spank us or ground us for a week.(which was no fun at all!) Then there's how to fix things or even paint (in my case anyways). Father's are good at knowing how to fix things up or even paint something. My father was a carpenter so for me it was learning how to paint, use a hammer, screwdrivers, and much more tools that I can't remember anymore. I do miss the smells that were always around me. The smell of fresh cut plywood, the smell of paint and the smell of hardwood floor polish. I even miss the sounds of the tools and his demanding voice telling someone to grab the nails and a hammer. The last two are bravery and wisdom, a father can show a child that there are things that seem scary but you can be brave and get through it or he could show them the wisdom he got when he did the same thing they are doing, did or trying to do. 
 So the struggles of being a young lady or man are when not having a father can be tough because when it's time for science fair or even getting into trouble there will be only one person to turn too. Yes, mothers are capable of trying to help and tell you the certain things you need to hear but sometimes it won't be from the person you wish it was from nor will you even listen to her until the second or third time it happens and you realize the mistake that has been done. I hope children come to realize that whatever parent they have is trying or going to try their best to teach them everything they need to know to be able to get through things.

#2 Having issues with the boy/girlfriend. I know for a fact that most children will run to their parents for advice about relationships because they feel comfortable talking to them about it and they know that they have a lot of experience of it. When my father was around I never got the chance to even talk to him about boys for the simple fact that his rule was no eyes on boys only eyes on books! Therefore, after he passed I always went to my mom for help because that's when things became different at school; I had that freedom to look where I wanted without hearing almost every day "boys are bad for you and books are good for you." Although I wish I would have stayed away from them because of the heartaches. Now guys would go to their father's to ask "how do I make something up to her?" or "Dad I don't understand this feeling I have when I'm with her." I'm going to tell you this, you can also go to your mom because she can help too! I know that it could be hard because you were closer to your father but if you want real good advice she'll be the second best to him.
 I remember when my father told my sister and me that boys have cooties and if we kissed them or if they kissed us we would get pregnant! My sister and I freaked out and feared of getting or kissing a boy. We were only 4 and 5 years old at the time of learning that information.

#3 Comparing the boyfriend to your father. (Sorry to most guys out there but this is a major deal for the ladies.) Ladies, I know that you must compare your boyfriends to your father to see if he's the one for you because the simple fact that everyone in the world knows that every girl's father is their first love. When your father is gone you remember everything about them. Who they were, what they were like, what they smelled like, what they did with you, how they showed love to you and so on. Now, I know for sure I always compare the guy I'm dating at the time with my father to see if they're anything alike. Which has turned out to a no so far but I'm not giving up I've got a long life ahead of me still! Therefore ladies and/or males I encourage you to try it and don't think it's a bad thing if you already do it because there are others out there who do it take me as an example. My father was a person who loved to help others with what he could, he was a strong, wise, funny, and loveable man, he smelled really good I mean so good that everyone who smelled his fell in love with him. My father would play around with me, teach me how to work hard and get a job done and show me how to make your own BBQ sauce, he would show me love by telling me, picking on me, giving me long warm tight (not too tight so I can breath) hugs and looking at me with his warm dark brown eyes with his famous smirk after doing the listed things above. I remember comparing my ex with my father because in a way I thought they were alike but I was wrong. I realized that my father always knew how to comfort me when I needed it and I thought I had that comfort with my ex but then it came to me that it wasn't comforting it was something else. So again I encourage you to try comparing them two together. Good Luck and Be Strong!
**These are just my opinions, I'm sure people can disagree with me but I am just speaking from my heart.**
 Always remember that a guy will never replace your father nor will he replace the love that he gave and showed you. Remember that your father is never gone that he's with you in your heart.

Thank you to my favorite blogger who is also family +Bredonda rae . If you get the chance also check out her blog its one of the best! I also want to thank everyone who reads my blog y'all are the reason I try my best to make my writing better each time. Thank you for the support you give me. I will try to get TWS back on track please help if you want to see amazing tales again!!

How Do You Know

Hey, everyone! I know I haven't written in awhile and I really have a certain topic on my mind that I really have been thinking about for awhile especially since it's getting close to my senior year of high school and I'm kinda starting to freak out a bit. 

How do you know what exactly you want to do after you graduate from high school? Is that a thing? To know. I use to think I knew what I wanted to do in life after high school but after doing my Continuing Education Classes from Galveston College I sort of realized that maybe becoming a doctor really isn't for me... I know I know that I can't just judge by just taking a couple of classes but this is what I came down too.

One is that I will never be able to work with elders because I feel like I'm going to hurt them or even tear their skin. I bet you did know that you could rip someone's skin! Secondly, is that  I can't take blood from elders because since I know that I could hurt them I don't want to take the chance of actually doing it. I had no problem taking blood from younger people but it's the elders that stop me in my tracks because no matter where I'm working there's going to be elders coming in to be worked on and I just can't..

That's where the how do you know what you are going to do after high school comes in. I have these ideas that I could do but I'm not sure if its something I'm going to be into or if I'm going to enjoy it.. I just wish that this career thing was so much easier that what it is. Some people say "nah you're just overthinking it!" and I say "Its easier said then done.." 

I've thought of being a doctor of course, then being a nurse, then going into the military, or become the person who checks the body for law enforcement when there is a murder..what is called? Forenic Science, right? Then I also thought of going into autopsy, where you open the dead body and find the cause of death but then I thought do you really want to be around death all the time. My answer of course was "no!!" 

So do you know what you wanna do as your career? Or are you just as stuck like me? Well who really knows what you are going to do but I just hope that you enjoy doing it everyday. Thank you for reading and relating if you can or ever did once upon a time.

Until next time loves, God Bless :)

The 5 F's

Have you ever wondered what the 5 F's are? Really think about it, no not in a dirty way you perverts! But in a way that somewhat makes sense.

P.s, when I can't sleep the best thing for me, is to read or write and I already tried the first one so here we go!

Number 1. Fear, number 2. Faith, number 3. Family, number 4. Friends, and last but not least of them all number 5. Fight. Now, what are the actually meaning of these five words? Fear- an unpleasant feeling that something or someone is dangerous. Faith- complete trust or confidence in someone or something or in a religious way. Family- a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. Friends- a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. Fight- a violent confrontation or struggle. 

I'm going to open up and tell you all the reason I can't seem to sleep. My dear mother hasn't been feeling well so she went to the doctor today and now she is admitted to the hospital and I'm really worried about her. As of right now I have these five F's.

I am feeling Fear because of what I have been told is not the best news to hear when you are only seventeen and you have a seven-year-old brother and an eighteen-year-old sister. I know I must have your brain wondering what happen or what's going on. I'm not going to tell you what happen but I will give you some information if you want to research yourself to figure it out. My mother has been feeling as if her whole body is like jello, she's more tired than normally, she feels dizzy and she would lose her thoughts and couldn't remember things that she just did. For example, she was filling up the sink for dish water and went outside but when she came back in she wondered what was that sound, she goes into the kitchen and see the sink is overflowing and she finally remembered that she had turned it on. Weird right? No, not at all its actually concerning,

I have Faith because I know that my mom is strong enough to push through this and she'll be back running around the house yelling at us because we won't clean up our messes. I believe god will be with her telling her that its just a matter of time she will be back here with us and she doesn't have to worry about a thing because he has it under control. I know that my mom knows that her Faith is too strong to be bullied by an illness.

I have Family and Friends that are here for me to lean on when I get tired of being strong and I just want to let everything go. I have them so I don't have to keep all of my emotions and thoughts to myself. I have them but they also have me when they are in distress or pain or anything I'm here just as they are for me. When I can't be my own backbone they are the ones to be my backbone to hold me high and tall while I try to Fight.


I must Fight because my mom can't fight alone. I must fight because if there is no effort then there is no reason. My mother will always be a reason to Fight and a reason to have Faith. I would do it for her because she's taught me that no matter how hard life can get she will always be there as a mother, a parent, and as my Family.

The Beauty of Life and the Ocean

Hello, everyone! Here's something that might be inspirational to you and if it is try writing about it...Don't understand, well wait and see at the end!

This past weekend I went to the beach at like one o'clock in the morning. Yeah, yeah I know I'm crazy but I did it anyways! As I was sitting there I asked myself a few questions which were: 1. What does the beach inspire you to do? 2. How do you feel when looking at the beach? 3. What do you want to do when looking at the beach?

First question first. What does the beach inspire me to do? Well, as I was looking at the beach for awhile after asking myself I answered with: The beach inspires me to go beyond the seeing point in life (now you see that I compare my life with the beach.) Do some of you compare your life to the beach or other things around you if you don't live by one or don't go to one? 

Secondly! What do you feel when looking at the beach? While I was looking at the beach for a long while I answered with: When I look at the beach I feel peaceful. Some of you would ask why peaceful? Well here's why: The waves on the beach are being tumbled the whole time until they hit the shore when hitting they become peaceful then go back to repeat the process constantly. Also because as the waves remind me of the way my life is I find myself finding comfort as the waves come to shore to comfort the earth.

Last of all the third question. What do you want to do when looking at the beach? What I would want to do when looking at the beach is to write, inspire, cry but most of all is to BE THE BEACH ITSELF! Tumbled and tired but at the end of the day PEACEFUL!


If you want you can answer these questions yourself in the comments below or you can email me if you just want only me to know. stephaniebenavides84@gmail.com

All of our lives are beautiful and so are our souls. No matter what you are going through you will come through it and don't give up! 

God Bless :)

The One

I am writing a normal blog today because I haven't written one in a while and also because I want to share a few things on my mind with yall. First, I want to let you know to live life the way you want to because you never know when your last day on this beautiful earth is and that I had to write a poem today in my English class and I really want to share it with yall today. So here it goes!


                                                                    The One

You were the one that I loved most
You were the one who held me close
You were the one who wiped my tears
But now you are nowhere near.

You were the one who told me its okay
You were the one who made me feel safe
You were the one who disappeared.

You were the one who was so dear
You were the one who was the only one
You were the one who died at night.

You were the one who flew high in the sky
You were the one the only one
You are the one who is nowhere near
You were my father who disappeared.

You were the one...





I really hope you guys like it or love it. It's deep but only because it's what I feel and I always tell yall how I feel :)

God Bless Everyone.. 

TWS Column | Rick's Adventure

It was a summer afternoon when a rat named Rick decided to go to Pleasure Pier to go on the roller coaster for the first time. Rick the rat was very nervous knowing that the roller coaster is right over the ocean!

okay, maybe not in the deep area but still Rick did not like the idea of it being over the ocean. Rick decided it was time to stop being a coward and get into the line to take a chance to see what a roller coaster is like. While he was waiting he was getting more nervous by the minute; until he seen his shadow turn towards him and said: " are you okay little buddy?" Rick looked up and seen a lion and said " um, not really I'm so nervous about going on this rollercoaster. Do you have a name sir?" The lion replied with " don't be nervous I'll be sitting right next to you and my name is Nick." After said Nick smiled down at Rick which returned the smile to him.

A little more time passed by and it was their time to get on to see how they like the adventure. Nick climbed in first then Rick and they looked at each other and said: "I hope its fun and not too scary." The ride guide spoke into the speaker saying "we launch in ten seconds." Within five seconds later he comes back on speaker saying " 5..4..3..2..1. Blast off!"

On the way up to the big arch, Rick looks at Nick and said: "please don't laugh if I scream the whole way." Nick said: "I'll try not to because that's what friends do." Next thing you know they are flying down from the arch and zooming through the roller coaster tracks. Rick is holding on for dear life while screaming like a person is trying to kill him and Nick is looking and him laughing so hard because the high pitch of the scream and the look on Rick's face.

When they get back to the pit to get off Rick climbed off so fast that Nick didn't even see him get off. Therefore, Nick yelled for Rick; which was right by him said: "yo Nick I'm right here." Nick said: "oh crap! I didn't even see you." After that, they decided to go get nacho's and talked about what happened on the roller coaster.

THE END

TWS Column | The Friend that Loved Food

Once upon a time, there was a teenage boy named George and he loved loved loved food! All his friends always found humor from the way George looked at food but they never said anything to him because they knew that he had a passion for food.

On a Wednesday afternoon, George decided to go for a cheeseburger and fries with his friends. When George was opening his burger he realized that his friends were looking at him weird so he asked: "what is wrong with yall guys?" His friend Thomas answered with "it's nothing man." Therefore, George looked at them one last time before looking at his burger like it was the love of his life. Thomas looked at his with a huge grin on his face and shaking his head left to right, George had noticed it so he asked Thomas "what man?" Thomas finally gave in and said, "the way you look at food just gives us this type of humor no one else would understand." George said "what do you mean? I don't look at food any type of way." Thomas replied with "okay, let me explain. You look at your food like it's the love of your life every time you eat!" George just looked at him for a little bit before replying with "do you ever think I'm just starving, or maybe I actually in love with food that I eat?" Thomas laughed with the other two guys and said, " that's exactly why we look at you with humor in our eyes and showing on our faces because we aren't quite sure what it is but we do understand that you have a great passion for the food that you do eat George." George looked at all of them with a smile and said, "thanks, guys this is why yall are my best friends and will always be because you understand that I just love food so much!"

A little bit later they left the burger shop and went on with the rest of the day and enjoying the love George had for food while having that certain humor inside of their eyes while watching him. 

The End.

TWS Column | The Tree and Water

Once upon a time, there was a tree that lived by water. The trees name was Oak and the waters name was Charles. Every day at sunrise and sunset Oak and Charles would watch the clouds float by and name what they looked like.

One summer morning when Oak woke up he realized that the sky was a different color. The color of the sky was a dark orange and red but he also realized that Charles was running more rough then originally. Oak called out to Charles " is everything alright with you Charles?" There was no reply. When Oak looked back up from Charles he then realized that something was dark smokey clouds. Oak didn't understand what was going on. Until he sees this thick red-orangish liquid coming towards Charles and him. Oak started to scream to Charles "what is that? Are we going to die!?"

Finally, Charles decides to tell Oak "everything is going to be okay, trust me." Right after he said that he did the unexpected. Charles made himself become rougher and splashed the liquid. A while bit later they realized it was working, so Charles made a huge splash and wiped out the liquid to cool the rest. Oak told Charles "thanks for saving me pal!"

At sunset Oak and Charles looked at the sky enjoying the bright colors while naming what the clouds looked like. When the big bright sun was gone and the stars appeared Oak and Charles said goodnight to each other then finally drifting to sleep they told the dark yet bright-starred sky "we will see you in the morning." Then they were off to a peaceful sleep.

The end..

TWS Column | Your Dear Friend Candy

How should I feel about candy. It's sweet, delicious, but it can get the best of me. I went to the store and got Skittles, Hersey bars, and all types more. I got home and decided to call it a junk food and movie all-nighter, I chose the movies Sisters, Ride Along 2, The Last Witch Hunter, and Finding Nemo.

I grabbed all my junk food and threw it on the couch because I will be too lazy to reach for the table to grab a different type of candy. Then I decided I wanted the butter popcorn because its's the best. After it was done its I popped in Sisters and sat on the couch with my fuzzy blanky and started eating.

The next morning I was feeling super fat! I did my morning routine and then I looked in my full-length mirror and I was three times the size I originally am! I tried rubbing my eyes to see if I was just seeing things but no I was super fat! I decided to take the day off of work and go to the gym and eat healthy all day long.

A couple days later after going to the gym constantly and eating right, I actually went passed my original weight and got to the size that I have been wanting! A size eight.

That is what happens when I eat a lot of and how I feel about candy. Be careful candy can be your friend but will always be your enemy.

The End..

I want to thank all my readers for getting me to 1000+ pageviews! I love all of yall I hope yall enjoy this tale :)

A New Idea Called TWS

There is a new thing that I wanted to try that I do in school and I wanted to share it with all of you loves. :) I will be asking everyone on all of my social media to give me a phrase or 3 words so I can make a story out of it.

I will be calling it Tales With Steph but I will be abbreviating it to TWS. I hope yall will enjoy the stories I will be writing and I will update my blog every week or 2.

So basically, what this idea is that I'll ask everyone to comment on my blogs or on my other social media and give me a phrase. For example, what is wrong with... and then I would write something after it to finish the sentence then continue with making a story. Or I will ask for 3 or more words to make a story, it will probably be funny, sad, serious, peaceful or a mixture of them together. Who knows???

I'm hoping that all of you loves will not be afraid to comment on this blog or search for me on all social media to give me an idea of what I should write stories about! Show me that you wanna see what my imagination can do :)
I enjoy seeing that a lot of yall do read my blog so PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO GIVE ME IDEAS :)

Heartache

Is this smile on my face fake? Or is it real? Honestly, I can't tell anymore.. I thought that leaving was a good idea because of all that I've been through.No, let me rephrase that what we've been through.I feel like I'm caving like I'm falling back into the love circle that I had trouble leaving. But do I wanna be back in it? Or am I just feeling the guilt and loneliness?
Of course, I do miss the good times with him. From all the weird moments we had together was like a fairy tale because no matter what we had gone through mattered to me anymore until he got too comfortable with me again. But is it wrong for a person to be so comfortable with another? Maybe not but maybe there also is depending on the situation at hand or always happening when being comfortable around that certain person.

What do yall think??

I've been trying my best to forget about him and everything that's happened but it's not easy and not only that but it's hard to forgive a person that's put you through some hell! Honestly, I think that I'm all types of screwed up or maybe I just don't have the heart to love or even know what love is because life has put me through a hell of a lot of pain and heartache.

What would you do?

Being the age of 16 and going through more than what a teenager is expected to is more exhausting then it looks and feels.. After losing my father 5 years ago, I never thought that I would have lost my first love (my father). I always thought that he would be the one to tell me all guys are jerks but there will be the one that will be a jerk to you at first but then falls madly in love with you and treats you like his damn queen that walks on water like Jesus..
The heartache of losing a parent by death can never be filled, it will always be an open wound or there would be an unsewed piece of your heart just waiting to be refilled or sewed back together by seeing them forever.
So my heart hasn't been the healthiest since then and now its worse because of trying to help the one I loved to change into something to be proud and happy of, I say I hate him; I do but I still love him because he was my first love other than my wonderful father who now rests in heaven.

I thought life would have been easier for me but by the looks of it and it's only going to get harder.



Be free to answer the questions don't be afraid I would love to read your thoughts :)

Types of drunk people

#1 The caring one- this person always repeats to everyone to be careful. For example if a group of people start playing chubby Bunny they would say "be careful because I can not save you because I'm drunk."
#2 the daring one- this person likes to do anything. For example "you dare me to kiss that hobo,okay I'll kiss that hobo!"
#3 the angry one- this one would fight or argue with everyone. For example "who drunk my beer?" Meanwhile the beer is still in their hand.
#4 the comedian-this one thinks eveything is funny. For example (their laughing their asses off at dumb shit like the ABC's.)
#5 the emotional one- this one is the crying,angry,loving, and happy. For example (crying over an ex then all of a sudden hating them.)
#6 the drunk texter- this one will send crazy messages to the first person they will see in their inbox. For example their ex "I HATE YOU, DIE!!!"
#7 the annoying one- this person acts completely stupid. For example (running around in the snow naked while scream woo!)

That was the type of drunk people I've seen in my life :) Be careful while intoxicated! Don't drink and drive loves!

Thanks for the help Bre'Donda Rae! Check out this amazing woman's blog. Bredondarae.com

What type of drunk are you? 😉

And the Rollercoaster continues..

I want everyone to know that I might act okay, I might say I'm okay or fine but really I'm not. My life has always been crazy since I was young. I moved around a lot, I got to watch my very own father die day by day, I watched my mother go through tough times, I watched my sister and I tear each other apart, I sat around and watched myself get torn apart because I thought that I could help change a person to become better. When in reality no one can change unless they want to on their own and not forced or wanted to by another person.
So when someone tells me I have no idea what its like to even go through hell my response will be "everyone has a different type of hell." Don't you all think so? I mean its basically saying the same thing as don't judge a book by its cover because you don't know whats inside; or put yourself in a certain person's shoes because you don't know what they are going through. Are ya'll seeing how all these connect?
Well if you still don't I'm going to let ya'll in on how I felt through those times that I have listed. When I was younger I use to move around a lot so I didn't get to keep my friends for a very long sometimes. I remember feeling like there was no point in having friends because every other school year we moved or it was pointless to even have a lot of friends because of the situation. When I was ten years old I watched my father cough his lungs out day by day and night by night until he decided to go to the hospital. That night he was revived and was put on a ventilator, it was hard and scary seeing him that way. The next day I had gotten a stomach bug and it was the day to say my last goodbye and I didn't get too, which makes me feel as if he's still suffering and so am I.
I've watched my mother go through tough times. Seeing her trying to manage to stay strong for us and dealing with us meaning trying to stop us from arguing about stupid things and trying to teach my little brother how to do things. It made me feel as if she was super woman and she is my role model because she is one reason why I'm strong today. My sister and I fought and said terrible things to each other which made us not talk to each other and dislike another. It made me feel as if I lost the other half of me.. Now this last one is the hardest for me to talk about because its painful.. The guy I was dating for two years had some issues and knowing that I am a good person that likes to help others I was trying to help him and things got a little violent..
I thought that it was my fault for a while but then I realized it was time I leave so I did; but soon I went back and he was acting better and I thought he changed..but did he really?? I'm sure you guessed right, NO he didn't he got so comfortable with me again that he thought it was okay to go back to his old ways or shall I was just his ways...Two years of trying my hardest to help him out and turns out I was tearing myself apart and making myself say "you don't need love, you have yourself and your family." I feel as if I don't believe in love anymore because I'm afraid to.. Does that make any sense? Probably, probably not but what I do know is that all of this has made me the person I am today. The strong one and helpful but cautious..